We have always been big into surprises in my family. Keith's family don't do surprises at all. Which was a huge surprise in itself when we got married!!! His Mum will take him to M&S two weeks before his birthday and buy him a jumper. Whereas in my family nobody knows what they are getting and its always a real present, never money, and it is always wrapped up and presented on the day as a surprise. To our family this is super important. It somehow adds to the celebration of the day, the excitement of not knowing what is coming. The anticipation and the joy of discovery as you peel back the wrapping ( or tear into it depending on your personality type !)But also, even more importantly, it adds so much to the joy of GIVING!
A friend of mine who had her kids at the same time as me came from a family that didnt do presents much. She found it a bit odd that I would occasionally turn up to her house bearing a gift. And she found birthdays and Christmas really awkward - because I would always have a small gift for her and her kids and she would never have one for me. She asked me not to give her gifts because ( and she was brutally honest) she didn't want to feel obligated to buy them for me in return. But I told her that that was not the point. I wasn't looking for a present in return, I just really enjoy giving people a surprise. And I want my boys to grow up understanding that giving is every bit as exciting and fun as getting. So I kept on with the small gifts at birthdays and Christmas for her and her boys.
About five years into our friendship when I was visiting one day she told me that she had been to see another friend who had just had a baby. As she was driving over to her house she suddenly thought ' What would Caz do? She would take a present! ' So she stopped at a garage and bought a bunch of flowers and gave them to her eldest boy - who was about six at the time- to give to the new Mum.It was only when she saw the excitement in her own little boy as he handed over the flowers and the delight on the face of the new Mum who of course made a big deal about how lovely they were, that she understood something about giving presents and surprises. And she said that the joy her own child had evidently experienced as he handed over the flowers had made her change her mind about present giving in the future.
Christmas is a time for giving and for getting. For so many children it is only about getting. And I think this warps the whole thing and gives children a false sense of entitlement and makes them greedy. So this week I have made a point of taking each of the boys shopping so they can buy presents for their siblings and their dad and grandparents. Small things - its not the THING that matters ( although there is something deeply satisfying about finding the perfect gift for someone) its the thought and time that goes into it. Its the focus on what will make someone else happy. And my boys actually really enjoy that process. They enjoy having a secret to keep till the big day. They love knowing that they have got something to give which is going to be excitedly received
They have also learned how to receive a gift. Because I have taught them.
After many birthday parties they now know never to say ' Oh I've already got that.' Or, Im NEVER going to play with THAT!' etc They understand that the giver has put some thought and time into the gift and that if its something they don't want or have already got it is important to still be kind and gracious. Josh's birthday in November was beautiful. Ben had bought him a picture for his bedroom wall. I'd found it when shopping and knew he would love it, so asked Ben if he would like to give it to Josh - and although he was a bit dubious that it would be the right thing ( he would much rather it had been a game for the DS!) he agreed. When Josh opened it his reaction was priceless. He grinned from ear to ear, made all the right noises, hugged Ben and showed it off to everyone. Ben was SO chuffed! Josh was chuffed. I was chuffed. It was a perfect present giving moment. I LOVE that!
And now for the God bit.......
It seems to me that God could have chosen to wrap His gift to us in any number of wrappings. But He chose to clothe Himself as an embryo and become a baby hidden away in the backstreets of Bethlehem. The Jews were expecting God's gift. They had been waiting for it for a long time. They thought they knew what it would look like - it would be royal and expensive and kingly. And because they were expecting that sort of giftwrapping they missed the present itself. Only the poor and the wise recognised the gift and the giver and gladly received it. And I dont think God has changed the way He operates today. I think He still likes to surprise us in the way He gives.
A few weeks ago a harpist friend of mine had a major disaster when her harp broke into smithereens. Way beyond being able to be repaired. She could not afford a replacement. But she and others prayed. Today she received a new harp all the way from Paraguay ( she is in Northern Ireland) !! A church there with connections to her family had heard the story and got together funds for a harp and then found someone who was travelling to Ireland to bring it with them!!! Talk about a surprise !! She was literally jumping for joy when she received it. Only God could do that stuff. He just loves to show off with the gift giving thing
Lord Jesus. today as I think about Christmas and about presents and lists and what to get for so and so help me to have the right perspective on the whole thing. Help me to enjoy the process of giving and be gracious in receiving. Let my gifts bless people by their thoughtfulness not their value. Thank you that You are a God who loves to give , You promise to meet our needs and sometimes the way You do it just amazes us. Give us a portion of Your creativity this year as we prepare to celebrate the greatest, most selfless, most beautiful and costly gift ever given.
Amen
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